You Can Make A Difference

The Starfish Story
by Loren Eisley

One day a man was walking along the beach when he noticed
a boy picking something up and gently throwing it into the ocean.

Approaching the boy, he asked, “What are you doing?”

The youth replied, “Throwing starfish back into the ocean.
The surf is up and the tide is going out. If I don’t throw them back, they’ll die.”

“Son,” the man said, “don’t you realize there are miles and miles of beach and hundreds of starfish?
You can’t make a difference!”

After listening politely, the boy bent down, picked up another starfish,
and threw it back into the surf. Then, smiling at the man, he said…”
I made a difference for that one.”

 

At the Gilbert High School on Saturday May 29th 2010 twelve youth finalists competed so they could make a difference. "Hope for the Children"  benefit concert featured young ladies and gentlemen from ages twelve to 25 vying for the honor to be Junior and Senior Ambassador for Hope for the Children for this coming year. 

The program was opened by the shows producer, Kirsten Millsap singing "My Name is Hope" a song she wrote for her adopted daughter. The music was arranged by William Joseph and Kirsten was accompanied by several children who have been orphans but are now successfully placed with families, including her own daughter Gabbi. 

 The Belchoir Children were participants in Kirsten's number and also performed and spoke to the audience after a short video Presentation telling about their heart rending story in Mozambique.  They introduced Sharon Slater, President of Family Watch International and founder of "Families for Orphans" who explained the "Seven Days of Nothing" program. 

The Gilbert High School Choir sang one of my personal favorite songs: "Prayer of the Children" - music and lyrics by Kurt Bestor. Dr. Marcy Spencer led the teens who were already out of school and graduated and came back voluntarily to practice and perform for this event. One of the students provided the sign language version.

American Idol Brooke White donated her talent, time and services. She gave a wonderful headline performance as well as serving as the chief on the panel of Judges. The other judges were Andy Biggs, William Joseph, Cameron Trejo and Brian Trotter.

Anna Collins was chosen to be the Junior Ambassador. She wrote the music and lyrics for "As Strong as You" and then sang and accompanied herself on guitar. Cody Darr performed his version of John Lennon's "Imagine" and accompanied himself on the piano. He was chosen Senior Ambassador. Gilbert Mayor John Lewis who announced each youth finalist prior to their song said that the panel told him that each performer had the talent to be chosen Ambassador. Their decision was based on the emotional appeal of the performer and performance given this evening. His quote was that all of this was worth it and more if we could help at least one child.

Positive Thinking Improves Health

"Whenever I start feeling as if it's unfair that I have to take so many shots and test my blood so many times a day, I think of people who have it worse. At least my disease is one I can fight by trying to eat right and manage well. Looking on the bright side helps." This quote is from Thad Novak a thirteen year old diabetic who spoke out on Save the Child Blog last week. His mother New York Times Best Selling Author Brenda Novak gives a great example of doing something positive about a health problem to effect change. She is hosting the sixth annual on-line auction for Diabetes Research.

Dr. Martin Seligman says that “quietly reminding yourself that you do have the skills and resources to handle most of what you will have to handle today is a good way to cultivate an optimistic attitude.” I think when Thad is focusing on the positive facts that with advances in medicine, a supportive family, and improved technology he has the chance to live a good life, compared to some other individuals, he gives himself the opportunity to save the energy that could be wasted if he moped and complained about his lot. It is like looking at the silver lining around the clouds or to survive the storm you dance in the rain.

Research suggests that maintaining a positive outlook during distressing times can optimize not only your emotional wellbeing, but also your cardiovascular health. The University of California researchers found that actors could influence their immune system by the emotions they portrayed. There are studies upon studies done at well respected institutions such as Harvard, Duke University, the University of Chicago and more showing a direct relationship between improved health, extended live, and overall sense of well being and having a positive attitude.

The Caregiver Club Sandwich

As a nurse and in my own family I have observed an increasing number of situations that are part of the "Sandwich Generation." The middle age adult, caring for sick parents and children at the same time. President Obama has addressed the issue by promising support for parents who are caring for elderly while trying to put children through college at the same time.

More that 50 million Americans are caring for a spouse, parent, or relative with a serious illness. Particularly difficult challenges I've noticed with the aging boomer population is when a couple is nearing or at retirement age and one or both of them are experiencing health problems, and / or they have elderly parents that require assistance.  Many times because of the economy or other circumstances their adult children have moved back home.

The pickles added to this dagwood is when an unwed grandchild then becomes pregnant and that baby has health issues. Yes that is five generations in one home, each with their own set of health challenges. I wouldn't bring it up if it were an isolated incident. Rather than being a fictional soap opera, this drama plays out time after time. Like the Dagwood it is too big to chew and too much to swallow, not healthy and certainly not recommended.

Author and journalist Gail Sheehy identifies eight crucial stages of caregiving in her book Passages in Caregiving: Turning Chaos into Confidnece.  Last week Diane Rehm interviewed Gail Sheehey on NPR.  She draws on her experience caring for her husband, the founder and editor of New York Magazine, Clay Felker. Even though her advice is focused on caring for the adults and elderly, it still applies to the caregiver that also has younger relatives and children that require their assistance. 

Seeking out qualified help is essential to survival in this kind of financial, mental, emotional, physical and spiritual storm.


Below is a list of  links that may be helpful to the reader or someone they know. The important part to remember is to take care of yourself - the caregiver. When you fail to do that there is no one left to care for the others and you become the burden.

National Association of Professional Geriatric Care Managers

Program of All Inclusive Care for the Elderly (PACE)

socialworkers.org
National Association for Home Care & Hospice
Working Caregiver 
Am. Health Care Association and Natl. Center for Assisted Living
 American Association of Daily Money Managers 

 

140 Years of Appeals to Peace for Mother's Day

Julia Ward Howe -nursed the wounded during the American Civil War, 1861-1865. After a visit to a Union Army camp, Julia Ward Howe wrote the poem that came to be called "The Battle Hymn of the Republic."  As an unofficial anthem, Union soldiers sang "John Brown's Body." Confederate soldiers sang it with their own version of the words. But Clarke thought that there should be more uplifting words to the tune. It was published in February, 1862, in The Atlantic Monthly.  

 During the Franco-Prussian war in the 1870s, Julia began a one-woman peace crusade and made an impassioned "appeal to womanhood" to rise against war. She translated her powerful Mother’s Day Proclamation (written in 1870, Boston) into several languages and distributed it widely. Julia Ward Howe also went to London in 1872 to promote an international Woman's Peace Congress.  The Proclamation follows:

"Arise, then, women of this day! Arise all women who have hearts, whether our baptism be that of water or of tears!

Say firmly: "We will not have great questions decided by irrelevant agencies. Our husbands shall not come to us, reeking with carnage, for caresses and applause. Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn all that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy and patience. We women of one country will be too tender of those of another country to allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs. From the bosom of the devastated earth a voice goes up with our own. It says "Disarm, Disarm! The sword of murder is not the balance of justice."

Blood does not wipe our dishonor nor violence indicate possession. As men have often forsaken the plow and the anvil at the summons of war, let women now leave all that may be left of home for a great and earnest day of counsel. Let them meet first, as women, to bewail and commemorate the dead.

Let them then solemnly take counsel with each other as to the means whereby the great human family can live in peace, each bearing after their own time the sacred impress, not of Caesar, but of God.

In the name of womanhood and of humanity, I earnestly ask that a general congress of women without limit of nationality may be appointed and held at some place deemed most convenient and at the earliest period consistent with its objects, to promote the alliance of the different nationalities, the amicable settlement of international questions, the great and general interests of peace." 

As a mother, grandmother and nurse who lives in times that are wrought with unrest, war, violence, hatred, I wish to appeal to all women to join together for peace. Stop the anger. Stop the pain. Stop the senseless killing.

Let this be a true Mother’s Day. Peace!

Fun Way to Help Fight Diabetes

The 6^th Annual Online Auction for Diabetes Research begins today May 1^st. There are 2,000 fabulous items, many of which you can’t get anywhere else, it’s going to be a blast.
I started this fundraiser in 2005 and have made it an annual event in an attempt to help my thirteen-year-old son (diagnosed at 5) and the many, many others who struggle with diabetes. The need is there. Anyone who lives with a diabetic will tell you about the constant fingertip pricks, the shots, the pump insertions, the danger that comes with blood sugars that are too high or too low or swinging wildly from one side to the other. It’s almost impossible to avoid the fluctuations, no matter how hard you try. But you rarely hear about that, or about the tragic side affects. Diabetes affects every part of the body—the heart, the liver, the kidneys, the skin, the nerves, the eyes, everything. But thanks to my many, many generous donors–and shoppers–we’re doing what we can to help!
It was a shocking experience that jump-started Brenda Novak’s bestselling author career.
“I caught my day-care provider drugging my children with cough syrup and Tylenol to get them to sleep while I was away,” Brenda says. “It was then that I decided that I needed to do something from home.”
However, writing was the last profession she expected to undertake. In fact, Brenda swears she didn’t have a creative bone in her body. In school, math and science were her best subjects, and when it came time to pick a major in college, she chose business.
Abandoning her academic scholarship to Brigham Young University at the age of 20 in order to get married and start a family, Brenda dabbled in commercial real estate, then became a loan officer.
“When I first got the idea to become a novelist, it took me five years to teach myself the craft and finish my first book,” Brenda admits. “I learned how to write by reading what others have written. The best advice for any would-be author: read, read, read….”
Last year we managed to raise over $280,000, which brings us to over three-quarters of a million so far. In 2010, we should break the $1 million mark! Judging by the increase in donations and web traffic, I think we’ll get there. Not only do I offer fabulous items like original paintings, handmade quilts, trips and stays and autographed books and baskets from Big Name authors, I offer fabulous opportunities for readers and writers. How would you like to have lunch with one of your favorite authors—authors like Barry Eisler, Diana Gabaldon, Linda Howard, Beverly Barton or Catherine Coulter? John Lescroart and Christine Feehan are offering you an opportunity to name a character in one of their novels. Jane Porter is offering a fabulous trip to Hawaii. Heather Graham has donated a trip to New Orleans, which includes her Writers For New Orleans Conference. Nora Roberts is offering a stay at her inn. Goodfellow Publishing has donated several books. And Anna DeStefano has put up a whole category of Coach purses. For aspiring writers, we have more agent and editor evaluations and author critiques than ever before. There are too many items to list here, so hop over and check it out.
For those of you who have never participated in an online auction, don’t worry–it’s easy. This auction runs just like E-Bay. You shop the entire month of May (there are also one-day auctions so be sure to check the schedule), bid on whatever you like and pay for what you win via credit card or Paypal when it’s all over, at which point it will be shipped to you (in most cases, the shipping is free).
The person who places the highest number of bids each week will be awarded a fabulous prize (the first week it’s an iPad as well as an Advanced Reading Copy of my new book, WHITE HEAT, due out July 27^th). There will also be lots of other prizes given away via random drawings.
And we have something new this year for aspiring writers. It’s a writing contest that will be judged by New York Times Bestselling Authors. The winner will receive a 6-month mentoring package from me and guaranteed reads from my agent and editor. One other thing I should mention. To help promote the auction, I’m currently holding a drawing for a fabulous Trip for 2 to Curacao. This trip includes airfare and hotel stay at the Hyatt Regency. To enter, click on the Contest link.
Here’s hoping I see you at the auction!
Brenda Novak