Who or What is Responsible?

Ever since Adam and Eve had one son, Cain killed their other son Able the world's parents have had children that stray from their teachings. Sometimes the parents have taught by example and by word what is moral, right, and just. Other times either the parent is ill, passed away, or incapacitated in some way to where they are unable to do the job that is their privelege. And then there are children that are abandoned or live in abusive or currupt situations without parents or whose parents are compromised from previous generations or other influences.

The Caregiver Club Sandwich

As a nurse and in my own family I have observed an increasing number of situations that are part of the "Sandwich Generation." The middle age adult, caring for sick parents and children at the same time. President Obama has addressed the issue by promising support for parents who are caring for elderly while trying to put children through college at the same time.

More that 50 million Americans are caring for a spouse, parent, or relative with a serious illness. Particularly difficult challenges I've noticed with the aging boomer population is when a couple is nearing or at retirement age and one or both of them are experiencing health problems, and / or they have elderly parents that require assistance.  Many times because of the economy or other circumstances their adult children have moved back home.

The pickles added to this dagwood is when an unwed grandchild then becomes pregnant and that baby has health issues. Yes that is five generations in one home, each with their own set of health challenges. I wouldn't bring it up if it were an isolated incident. Rather than being a fictional soap opera, this drama plays out time after time. Like the Dagwood it is too big to chew and too much to swallow, not healthy and certainly not recommended.

Author and journalist Gail Sheehy identifies eight crucial stages of caregiving in her book Passages in Caregiving: Turning Chaos into Confidnece.  Last week Diane Rehm interviewed Gail Sheehey on NPR.  She draws on her experience caring for her husband, the founder and editor of New York Magazine, Clay Felker. Even though her advice is focused on caring for the adults and elderly, it still applies to the caregiver that also has younger relatives and children that require their assistance. 

Seeking out qualified help is essential to survival in this kind of financial, mental, emotional, physical and spiritual storm.


Below is a list of  links that may be helpful to the reader or someone they know. The important part to remember is to take care of yourself - the caregiver. When you fail to do that there is no one left to care for the others and you become the burden.

National Association of Professional Geriatric Care Managers

Program of All Inclusive Care for the Elderly (PACE)

socialworkers.org
National Association for Home Care & Hospice
Working Caregiver 
Am. Health Care Association and Natl. Center for Assisted Living
 American Association of Daily Money Managers