"Whenever I start feeling as if it's unfair that I have to take so many shots and test my blood so many times a day, I think of people who have it worse. At least my disease is one I can fight by trying to eat right and manage well. Looking on the bright side helps." This quote is from Thad Novak a thirteen year old diabetic who spoke out on Save the Child Blog last week. His mother New York Times Best Selling Author Brenda Novak gives a great example of doing something positive about a health problem to effect change. She is hosting the sixth annual on-line auction for Diabetes Research.
Dr. Martin Seligman says that “quietly reminding yourself that you do have the skills and resources to handle most of what you will have to handle today is a good way to cultivate an optimistic attitude.” I think when Thad is focusing on the positive facts that with advances in medicine, a supportive family, and improved technology he has the chance to live a good life, compared to some other individuals, he gives himself the opportunity to save the energy that could be wasted if he moped and complained about his lot. It is like looking at the silver lining around the clouds or to survive the storm you dance in the rain.
Research suggests that maintaining a positive outlook during distressing times can optimize not only your emotional wellbeing, but also your cardiovascular health. The University of California researchers found that actors could influence their immune system by the emotions they portrayed. There are studies upon studies done at well respected institutions such as Harvard, Duke University, the University of Chicago and more showing a direct relationship between improved health, extended live, and overall sense of well being and having a positive attitude.
As a nurse and in my own family I have observed an increasing number of situations that are part of the "Sandwich Generation." The middle age adult, caring for sick parents and children at the same time. President Obama has addressed the issue by promising support for parents who are caring for elderly while trying to put children through college at the same time.
More that 50 million Americans are caring for a spouse, parent, or relative with a serious illness. Particularly difficult challenges I've noticed with the aging boomer population is when a couple is nearing or at retirement age and one or both of them are experiencing health problems, and / or they have elderly parents that require assistance. Many times because of the economy or other circumstances their adult children have moved back home.
The pickles added to this dagwood is when an unwed grandchild then becomes pregnant and that baby has health issues. Yes that is five generations in one home, each with their own set of health challenges. I wouldn't bring it up if it were an isolated incident. Rather than being a fictional soap opera, this drama plays out time after time. Like the Dagwood it is too big to chew and too much to swallow, not healthy and certainly not recommended.
Author and journalist Gail Sheehy identifies eight crucial stages of caregiving in her book Passages in Caregiving: Turning Chaos into Confidnece. Last week Diane Rehm interviewed Gail Sheehey on NPR. She draws on her experience caring for her husband, the founder and editor of New York Magazine, Clay Felker. Even though her advice is focused on caring for the adults and elderly, it still applies to the caregiver that also has younger relatives and children that require their assistance.
Seeking out qualified help is essential to survival in this kind of financial, mental, emotional, physical and spiritual storm.
Below is a list of links that may be helpful to the reader or someone they know. The important part to remember is to take care of yourself - the caregiver. When you fail to do that there is no one left to care for the others and you become the burden.
